“The Nazis Came To Poland.” +++From+++ “AVision Of Judgement.”

“The Nazis Came To Poland.” +++From+++ “AVision Of Judgement.”

(Lorelei). Shawnda McGowen

“I can hear them.” Adam Said, peering out the linen drapes of his living room window. He could hear the ground shaking as Nazi tanks rolled closer, slowly gaining ground toward his small town of Pabianice, Poland. Fear began to settle in people of Pabianice like a dark cloud of heavy rain. The anticipation of what was coming with the soldiers in the outskirts of Pabianice was dreadful. The aftermath of the initial invasion of Poland on September 01, 1939 was brutal leaving Poland completely vulnerable at the hands of the Nazis, but Adam knew lurked in the outskirts of his town would change his life forever. The rumble of Panzer tanks became louder as they ravished the earth beneath them in unison. It was that sound that shut the mouths of every polish citizen that hid in their home, especially those of Jewish origin. The rumors rang in the ears of the towns’ people, as the realization that the gossip they’d heard for months, would now become fact, and that they themselves would become a rumor to the next town, the Germans invaded. Adam could now see small black dots in the distant horizon as the sun rose behind them. “Papers, get our papers.” He said, “They are going to check them as soon as those soldiers have dismounted, I would swear on it.” He pointed toward their bedroom without looking at his wife. “And try ________ again, I know the phone lines are down but I am praying there is still a chance we might get through. I have to make sure our children are safe.” His wife ran past _______ into their bedroom, she pulled out a wooden box from under their bed. Frantically, she searched through the stack of documents. Grabbing a small brown envelop she opened it to make sure their papers were safe inside. She put the lid back on top of the box and slammed it shut. She ran back to the living room, leaving the wooden box behind on their bed. “I have them, they are all here.” She said, waiving the envelope above her head.  “Good.” Adam said, still focusing on the convoy that was now minutes from entering their town. There is no escaping now, he thought. He remanised over his failed plans to leave Poland with regret.

Thminis came To Poland.” +++From+++ “AVision Of Judgement.”

(Lorelei). Shawnda McGowen

“I Could Feel Them Die.” +++ From +++ “Letters To Hitler.”

“Letters To Hitler.”

(Lorelei). Shawnda McGowen.

• “Several more men appeared to have come out of no where. Each also had a wheel barrow in their hands. Lars opened the gate and waited for them to pass. Not one of them pitiful looking men made eye contact with Lars. One of the guards Sgt _________, Flicked a cigarette at the men as the walked past the tower laughing at them, loudly. Lars Began laughing too because one of the men tried to dodge cigarette, and he stumbled over a rock and hit the dirt face first. Lars could hear the guards making sarcastic comments about the Jew who fell. Lars thought all the anti-Semite jokes the Nazi soldiers made were pleasantly funny. He discovered why soldiers were able to walk thousands of people into the buildings across the camp and like sorcery the civilians would never be seen again. Black ashes descended from the buildings where thousands of Hebrews were led. All of them speaking a different tongue. All of them headed for another side of life, unknowingly. Strangely, Lars found pleasure with this knowledge, it reminded him that God gives vengeance to those who deserve it. The first joke he’d ever heard came from a group of privates. They were standing around a smoke shack, smoking cigarettes. One of them said, “How ironic, here we stand smoking cigarettes, we have our ash tray filled with ash. And it is exactly like the ash that comes from the crematorium! ” The young private held his cigarette up to the sky comparing it to the crematory in the distance. “Ashes!” He exclaimed, excitedly as if he admired the building, or maybe it was the building’s purpose, to burn the bodies of dead Jews. The red-headed soldier off to his right began laughing as he said, ”  __________ how many Jews does it take to fill an ash tray?” Private __________ held up a clip board with papers in the sky. Laughing hysterically, he said, “I don’t know! Check the roster!” The entire group began laughing uncontrollably. A smirk crossed Lars face, he admired their humor. Lars heard numerous jokes made throughout the seven months he’d been living, as a favored captive, in Auschwitz. He liked every joke he heard. He enjoyed writing his own jokes in his letters to Hitler. Looking back down at the man who had just fallen he noticed He’d only suffered minor scrapes to his right knee. The clumsy Jew got up quickly and carried on as if nothing had happened. Lars knew it would be much worse for the Jewish man, if he’d pissed off one of the guards who were observing him, even if they were drunk. It was the first time Lars had seen such a large number of guards drinking together in one group. Considering they were celebrating the New Year their drunken behavior made sense to Lars. He waited until the men disappeared off into the distance to shut the fence again. The world that surrounded him was quiet, except for the soldiers of course. The evergreens in the distance surrounded the camp, leaving her vulnerabilities hidden. This was good considering the odds, supposedly, enemy forces were now invading Poland. Rumors that the Russians were traveling in the camps direction began to circulate. Hoss became particularly concerned over this news. To him this was the worst information he could have ever received. He began to speak about it, even to Lars, daily. Even Hoss’s attitude began to change. He was experiencing so much anxiety over even the littlest mishaps, that he had a very difficult time functioning. He began to speak about possibly deserting the camp, regardless of the repercussions. Lars studied his demeanor over the recent few weeks, Hoss became tense and frustrated over the slightest distresses. Even some of the orders he gave to the officers under his command made no sense. He began to operate solely off of emotion rather than intellect. Lars even debated if Hoss was suffering from severe depression. All the signs were there, fatigue, out bursts of anger, sometimes he would sleep in his office all day. Other days he wouldn’t sleep for days. He became obsessed with the intelligence he received from his subordinates regarding the most current positions of the Russians who were rumored to now be entering Poland. Lars could even hear Hoss having horrible nightmares while he was asleep in his office only feet away. He could hear him screaming so loud, once Lars actually ran over to his office to see if he was ok. Hoss was leaned up against the desk in a dead sleep. He had a brown flask clenched in his hand. Lars knew it was wiser not to bother Hoss, especially if he was asleep but he could not handle the screaming any longer. He picked hoss up and carried him over to his couch. Taking his boots off, he placed a blanket over the very drunk officer. Lars faced many nights recently where Hoss could be heard, experiencing nightmares, usually in a state of severe drunkenness. And as the Russians gained ground, Hoss became drunk more frequently but only during the night. Though his subordinate officers were almost completely unaware if Hoss’s increasingly depressive state. Lars did his best to care for Hoss, as if he was a regular patient in Lar’s clinic. Just as Lars was lost inside his thoughts of the current events he heard a loud piercing sound that ripped right past his left ear. It scared him so much he hit the ground, covering his ears with the palms of his hands. Several more shots zipped right over his head and then the soldiers in the tower began to yell, scream, and laugh. Lars kept his hands on his head, fear kept his head on the ground. A few minutes later the loud sounds discontinued as Lars laid on the ground his body still shaking. He was still experiencing ringing in his ears when he raised his head to see what was going on. First he looked over to direction he originally heard the loud banging from, it came from tower. The soldiers were aiming down at the camp behind two machine guns and a sniper rifle mounted on the top of the guard deck. Their eyes were on the camp, most of them looked focused and serious. Lars began to stand up once he fully realized they were not shooting at him. He turned to his right to see several dead bodies lying inside the fence. Blood was spraying out of a mans head and another man was on his knees, choking. Blood was pouring down his body from his throat. The man stared up at the tower with an expression on his face as if he was begging the guards for mercy. They didn’t grant it. As Lars continued staring at the severely wounded Hebrew he understood at this point no matter what the Jewish prisoner was going to die. Just as common sense met his thoughts, another bang fired from above him and the zipping sound followed, it rang so close to his left ear, he could feel it’s heat as it flew past him. In less then a second the man on his knees fell face first into the soil, his final grave. The soldiers started to run down from the tower. They walked over to the fence to take a closer look at the lives they’d just taken. They didn’t go inside, they just seemed to linger along the fence commenting on each other’s aim. “You, come here!” One of the soldiers pointed at a Jewish prisoner standing inside the fenced area and demanded he walk over towards him. The prisoner stood, frozen with terror. “Come here now or I will kill you and you will lie in shame as they do!” The prisoner disobeyed the order and stood there staring back as if dying didn’t sound so horrible. With out hesitation the soldier took a pistol out of its leather strap and pointed it directly at the Jew. Lars covered his ears, anticipating another death. “BANG!” The Jewish prisoner fell off to his side, dead. Lars was incredibly shocked at the ease the soldiers expressed in taking lives. They literally did not blink. What surprised Lars more what the laughter that thundered after each life was taken. ‘Unbelievable,’ he thought to himself. The soldiers were stumbling around laughing, enjoying the hard work they had just accomplished. The bodies lied motionless within the boundaries of the bob wire fence. To Lars the corpses reminded him of dead animals in third world countries that had died from disease and starvation. As he stood there staring at the disturbing __________, spun the pistol around his index finger then handed it to Lars. Lars took the pistol by the barrel, it was covered in black carbon. He hlooking carcasses of the disgraced creatures a soldier walked up to him and slammed a machine gun into Lar’s chest. Lars took a step back nervously, unsure what the soldier was wanting him to do. “Your Turn.” He said with a child like smile. Lars held the weapon out in front of him staring silently. He looked over the machine gun’s slick, silver body, It was still hot from the bullets that had just been fired from it. Lars never shot a weapon in his entire life. He turned his face over to observe the field of Jewish Captives. It seemed like hundreds of faces stared back at him, waiting for him to make a decision. He saw a few children among the crowd of Jewish men, and he thought of his own children that had been ripped out of his home and died in this place just two weeks before he’d arrived. He remembered his eldest son, _________ whose name was missing from that precious paper he hid up under his breast pocket. And he thought desperately over losing his beloved wife __________. His emotions began to mix in his stomach. Anger and sadness began to overwhelm him. Holding back tears, he bit down on his lower lip. The tears that trembled in his eyes began to fall, caressing his grimy cheeks. He could not hold back his emotions any longer, he took the weapon and pointed it not at them men but the children. He held the weapon up to his right cheek and stared down the barrel. He mimicked the way he the soldiers held their weapons so often when they were target practicing. He placed his pointer finger on the trigger and pulled gently. The sound crackled out of his weapon ending as the bullet entered the child’s head. The child looked to be around the age of 5 years old. The crowd of children surrounding the toddler scattered in all directions. Lars’s machine gun recoiled harder than he’d anticipated, bruising his cheek. Staring back down the barrel of his machine gun he stared at the male prisoners around the child’s remains. The men stood like statues in Rome except there was nothing artistic about them. Lars began to finally grasp what the concept of taking life really was. It was far less complicated than Lars had imagined. All you really did was aim, inhale slowly and squeeze the trigger as you exhale. It was in that moment lars saw a strange beauty in the connection between living and dying. Both were inevitable, you were both living and dying in the same moment. The more life you lived, the closer you got to your grave. And the pit of the grave was eternal, there was coming back from that place. The only difference between Lars and his victim was the fact that he stood on the opposite side of the bullet. He sent the shot down range and the child intercepted it. When the bullet hit the boy’s skull it was all over, the transition between life and death was complete. Had Lars not found favor with Hoss, he would have easily been faced with the very same fate. And to his greater benefit, the guards thought Lars was one of them. Lars stared back at Sgt _______. He had an amusing expression upon his face. He pulled a pistol from his leather holster on his side belt. Handing it to lars he said with a comical expression, “Not bad, now, lets see how well you handle a pistol.” Sgt anded the machine back t Sgt ____________ and held the pistol with both hands, staring at it he wondered how many lives it had taken. The pistol looked as if it had been fired many times. He looked back over at the fenced in Jews, they just stared back at him. He looked back at Sgt ________ when he heard him say, “Hit the one standing one hundred meters away from us and you will be at twenty-two points.” Lars looked at Sgt ___________ confused. “What do you mean?” He said, “This is a game?” The soldiers started laughing hysterically. “Yes, Sgt. Burmeister, that is exactly what it is.” One of the privates held up a brown clip board with papers attached to it and pointed it at the prisoners. “All of their names are on this roster. tomorrow morning at five o’clock sharp, when next shift comes on post, they are taking them to the smoke house!” Lars stared at the soldiers, the resembled a pack of wolves. One of the lower ranking soldiers held out a sheet of paper, “I am at ninety-two.” He bragged. Another said, “Really, I am at a hundred and four.” Lars looked over at the dead body of the child, “Where does that one put me in comparison?” “Two.” Sgt ____________ said. “Children are worth two points, everyone else is twenty. You have a long ways to go.” He laughed. Lars questioned the Sergeant’s response. “Why such a big difference in points?” “More mass to knock down.” He said. Sgt _______ body language showed he was waiting for Lars to take his shot. Lars looked over at the haggard looking Hebrew, pointing the pistol at him he positioned his body so that he stood directly across from him. Lars pushed back his shoulders for better posture holding the pistol in his right hand he aimed it at the prisoner with no name. As Lars looked down through the pistol’s sights, he made direct eye contact with the prisoner. He inhaled slowly, holding his breath he squinted his left eye and began to exhale. He slowly squeezed the trigger. The bullet jolted out of the barrel making a loud banging sound. The pistol jerked back abruptly and the sound of the bullet tore through the air until it hit the man directly in his forehead. Lars slowly lowered his weapon keeping his eyes on the dead Jewish man. The soldiers were commenting on Lars accuracy with the pistol. Lars felt a release for the first time in months since he’d discovered his family had been slaughtered in the very same camp where this man had perished in. Pressing his lips together tears began to fall, heavily. He took the pistol and pointed at another Jew in the camp. “BANG!” The shot ripped through the crisp air striking him down in one swift move. Lars walked closer to the fence where several Jewish men were standing near by. He began to fire his pistol, aiming for their head. “BANG, BANG, BANG!” Three more men fell, they hit the dirt quicker at close range. He could literally feel the life russing out of them as their bodies fell. About a half a dozen Jewish men stood only a few feet from where the fence separated them from Lars. Walking alongside the fence Lars pointed and shot each one. He didn’t miss a single shot. Over half a dozen Jewish men and two small children were lying dead on the ground. Their blood soaked the earth, staining the grass red. Lowering his pistol he stared at the and lookeplaying field of death. Like dark art from a classic film, corpses covered the cold earth, deep red blood illuminated the contrast between the greyish sky and the land of the dead. Silence stalked the late afternoon sky. Smoke still fumed from the muzzle of his pistol as it recovered from it’s freshly fired shots. Lars’s mind disappeared into visions of his past. His family was in a park, the sun was shining everywhere, it’s golden rays warmed his face. The breeze flowed through his wife’s hair like waves on the ocean. She sat on a picnic blanket, a small wooden basket sat in front of her. She looked lovely as she placed a fresh strawberry into her mouth, her smile enchanted him like a fairy tale. He began to tremble as he felt tears fall down his shirt softly trickling onto his hands. His children ran after each other under the sun light. His youngest _______________, screamed and laughed as her brothers tackled her. He was standing off in the distance, too far for them to see him. He called out to Leisel she stared right through him as if he wasn’t there. He fell to both knees, still lost inside his mind, as if he were watching it play out on the stage of theater. He felt the energy leave his body, leaving him powerless, lost in a world beyond his control. He could hear music from the piano his wife played each night before bed echoing in the distance. The world around him was beautiful once more, even though he stood surrounded in a land of death, his thoughts were where he found peace. Unable to suppress the pain that flowed inside his veins any longer he clenched the raw earth with his fists, the soil felt like ice inside his grasp. A loud cry poured out from his between his lips as he buried his head in the dirt. He wept uncountably tears and snot covered his entire face. He could hear his wife say, I love you, Lars.” as she stared into his eyes curling his hair around the tips of her fingers. The memory of his wife killed him slowly, from the inside out. “Stupid Jew, Stupid Jew, you killed her, You took them away from me!” Still lost in his sobs he felt a small tap on his shoulder he could hear Sgt _________ ask, “Are you okay?” Lars turned over and looked up at the sergeant who’d just awaken him from the most beautiful dream. He stared into the concerned eyes of the sergeant for a long moment and said nothing. “Here.” He said handing him a brown flask. “Drink, it will loosen your sorrows.” Lars took the flask with his left hand and stood up as he wiped his face with his right sleeve. He put the flask up to his lips and took a long hard swig. “Happy New year.” Sgt ____________ said with a half-smile. Lars could feel the liquid sting the back of his throat as he swallowed the hard whisky. He could feel the tension in his nerves calming slowly. Sgt ___________ pulled out pack of smokes from his right pant pocket. He took one out, flipped open his silver lighter and lit a cigarette, as he held it between his lips. He cupped the lighter, shielding the fire from the wind. He took the cigarette with two fingers and handed it to Lars. Lars took the cigarette and inhaled the toxic joy. “Who were the people you were crying over?” ________ asked curiously. Lars took another hit from the smoke stick and spoke as smoke rolled out of his mouth. “What do you mean?” Lars replied. ___________ looked at Lars with concern. “You were in the dirt, hysterical just a moment ago, now you don’t remember what all the fuss was over?” Lars turned over at the dirt where he’d just wept. “No.” He said. Squinting his eye brows he looked back at ___________. “I was just crying?” Lars asked, a feeling of confusion began to present itself in Lars’ s mind. The guards began to laugh. Lars became serious. ” I don’t remember.” He spoke with complete honesty. The soldiers fell over laughing. Lars didn’t find the humor in what he’d just told them. Brushing the conversation aside with the waive of his hand Sgt __________ said, “I have just the right medicine.” He smiled as he turned and walked away. Lars finished off his cigarette and waited as his eyes followed the line of dead bodies off to his right. Their blood was probably cold by now he thought to himself. After several minutes Sgt _______ returned carrying a record player in  hands, his weapon slung over his left collar bone, hanging by its leather sling. He placed the record player on a small fold out chair. The body was made from the finest wood that looked as if it was carved by hand. He placed several records off to it’s right,  still holding one of them in his right hand. He held it out in front of him and kissed the cover.  “This one. ” He said, “she’s a classic.” He took the record out and placed it  the record player. After placing the lever needle on the record music that made Lars feel as if he was in a Opera house, he turned to him and said, “You know must know her, Luba Welitch?”
• “I know her yes, she sang in Vienna.  My wife and I saw her performance live. We sat four rows from the front.” He paused and thought for a moment. The music tuned on, bringing life to a distant memory he was having in his mind. Halfway distracted he continued to speak, “Yes, she has brown hair, I remember that night well because my wife, she lost an earring at the opera house that night. It was one of her most expensive pairs. And she was so angry that night because we couldn’t find it anywhere. She only wore them on special occasions. It was our anniversary. This song was so beautiful that night.” Sgt ___________ smiled,  “Unfortunately,  this record is the closest I’ve gotten to Luba Welitch.” Lars commented, still recalling the night of his anniversary,  “Yes, as I remember, her performance is much better from the stage. You really get lost in the moment.” “Most things are better in real life, they seem more colorful.” Sgt __________ said, smiling.

• “Letters To Hitler.”(Lorelei). Shawnda McGowen.

“As I Entered Hell.” +++ From +++ “A Vision of Judgement. “

“The sounds were loud and the darkness great. Like thunder the doors rolled opened.  The light blinded me like I was entering heaven but this was hell on earth. Three maybe four thousand people to my right and another thousand to my left. As I stepped over the bodies in the cattle cart paranoia overcame me. My very nightmare in the footage I stepped into as I stepped over death, a soul forever lost. Soldier to my front stood with weapons. A death awaited behind them and it was I that entered this place. Unforgiving stares shook me where I stood. What was this hell that surrounded me. Facing me were soldiers an army of destruction. I lingered confused, I imagined hell was beyond those gates. The soldiers tore through the crowd in search for what, I did not know. They looked on me as a pack of wolves looks on their prey, hungry. One pushed a woman and child down as if they offended him. I stood captivated at this cruel paradise. There were stars all around me but from a film they did not come. Fame did not embrace the captives in this place. They entered the gates never to be heard from again. What did they do, to deserve their fate. And I a German was still among them, the Hebrews. As I looked onward the soldiers tore through the crowd showing mercy to no one. The thru women and children down without flinching.  I stood, staring in awe. One solder took a woman and threw her aside, ripping her jacket. The screams ended not. Finally I knew what fear felt like. I searched endlessly for my wife, my screams fell on the empty air above me. She wasn’t there in the crowd of women and children. Who were the demons in these sharp uniforms? Germans? No. Yes, I knew this as they spoke. “To your fucking right!” With an aggression I’ve never witnessed, they plowed through us. I screamed, “Leisle,” as a soldier approached me. My cry was met on deaf ears as she did not answer back. With a disgusting anger the soldier held me off the ground slightly, by my coat. His eyes were ice, freezing me with his glare. “If you do not move back I shall beat you where you stand.” His fists held me at my will. Blindly, I continued to shout, hoping by some small chance she would utter my name. I was wrong. As an emptiness entered me, a sharp pain met my right side as the soldier kept his word. He hit me with a fierce might seven times. Unfortunately, for him I did not fall to my knees. With one last thrust the butt of his weapon met my face. I tasted blood almost instantly. I imagined, he didn’t know my spirit, for it did not break as my skin did. With pale white skin, sapphire blue eyes, and blonde hair, my enemy looked down upon me, A vampire he stood, in a soldier’s uniform. The blood on my collar aroused him. We were mere pray in the midst of a pack of wolves, hunting and hungry. There I stood in a paradise of hell. Demons all around me. The land was also unfamiliar, surprisingly, I noticed this. I realized all too soon I was in foreign land. But the tongue wasn’t exotic to say the least. An atmosphere of confusion and chaos. I barely had a moment to think before the next blow crushed my skull, leaving me numb as my vision turned black. I understood all too well where I stood with this vampire in uniform. They were going to kill us for sure. When the light entered my eyes once again, I became aware I was about to be struck down once more. Unable to brace myself I felt nothing as the weapon met my face, I was already too numb. I had no choice but to see night, once again as my gaze broke away from the sun. I could hear him as he spat on me and said, “Stupid Jew!” I remembered the sun, for it was beautiful, as the cloud of darkness invaded my vision once more. How could he be so mistaken, I was around Jews but I was not one of them. I barely made it to my feet as I observed them. They were like peasants. Filthy faces stared onward, most of them showed no expression at all, except for the ones being harassed by the soldiers. Fear gripped the faces of the peasant Jews that stood to the front of the lines. I contemplated that toady I would be murdered by the very hands that protected my homeland. Today, God found no favor with any being in my midst. The soldiers were also damned, for they entered this land with the stench of hell, angels of death. They spoke in German to all of us, they wore the uniforms of German soldiers, but they treated us as a foreign enemy. They assaulted us as if we were armed, but weaponless we stood. It seemed that to them we were an invasion, and they’d answered us with an unmerciful ambush. Never before had I envisioned a sight like the one before me. Women and children resembled ragged dolls. And I now remembered, the corpses that lied on the bed of the cargo trailer, as I stepped over their lifeless bodies. I left what I thought was hell, only to enter the real one. The soldiers were so cruel, I reasoned they’d already understood war, they had known death long before this day. Of course, vampires only understood death for they’d never tasted life. In fact, they were death. And our graves were not far behind theirs. To me, those creatures, had died and what was left after that was staring me in the face. Their real bodies were buried some place in the trenches beyond those gates. A baby crying meant nothing to them. The one who had just attacked me was preparing to hit the man standing next to me. The sight was brutal. What bothered me the most was the thick smoke coming from the building only a distance from where I stood. What was it, a factory. Maybe we would be workers in a factory. I literally began to pray that was what it was. Later I would discover I was incredibly wrong.” +++ Shawnda McGowen (Lorelei).